How Foreigners Are Contributing to the Way Thais Interact

If you have been to Thailand, you might already have seen the way Thais greet, thank, aplogize and say good bye. Joining the palms in the middle of your chest and nodding or slightly bowing. It seems as simple as that, doesn't it?

Yes, it does but it's not.

What westerners might deem insignificant or even ridiculous but is one of the wheels that keep Thai society functional is hierachy and seniority. And, this applies to just about everybody - someone in your family, people at work, folks in your circle, and of course complete strangers. Really.

When you meet someone who you're certain is older than you, you greet them by joining your palms at chest level and slightly bowing. The person you greet will return your graciousness by joining their palms also at chest level but only w/ nodding. As a younger person, you have to greet them first.

When you meet someone who is apparently younger, you automatically expect them to be gracious young people, and you're obligated to be a respectable older person. If the kid fails to do what he's required to do, you have all the right in the world to go around saying he has no manner or his parents did a terrible job. Nobody will contest. But then, as the older one, if you fail to acknowledge and return the graciousness that the younger person initiated, you yourself will also be viewed badly, or worse.

Still, that's just the basic.

The dynamic changes and age doesn't quite matter when superiority in terms of social standing, profession, or work position comes into play.

For us, it is so okay (and actually a very decent thing) to feel inferior to others because what others have is apparently better or they are of a higher rank than us.

Here, doctors and teachers get graciousness from people all the time, regardless of either person's age. A mother will fully bow to a doctor of her son's age if her son's life has just been saved by that doctor. A man will willingly bow to his daughter's teacher who is 15 years his junior just because that is what you do to a teacher.

But by wanting to be polite or fit into Thai society, tourists and expats are slowly and unknowingly adding something to this dynamic. We will discuss this in Part II of this post.

Joe