My friend Jeffrey guessed saying 'Hey, I already took a shower" meant "Cover your mouth. I don't wanna be covered with your mucous as I'm already clean!"
You know what? Jeffrey wasn't right. A lot of time, people cover their mouth or turn their face away from you before going at it.
What "Hey, I already took a shower" means is "Hey, I'm respectfully clean here. I don't smell. There's no reason for you to do that."
And, even though you didn't shower and might be the reason for somebody to sneeze, you can still say that. It is one of the lies that will never be questioned!
Joe
2009/11/30
2009/11/28
When you sneeze,
Here in Thailand, when you sneeze, people will say "Hey, I already took a shower". You know what that means?
Will give you the answer tomorrow!
Will give you the answer tomorrow!
2009/11/20
27-Dollar NOKIA
A brand new NOKIA mobile that I bought the other day brought me joy on many levels. First of all, it is a gift for my Randy. His phone had died the previous week. The simple but cute item cost me only THB 890 or USD 27. It must sound dirt cheap in many parts of the world. It is ridiculously cheap for Bangkok too!!
As I said, my joy didn't stop there. Two of my colleagues - a maid & a driver to be specific - thought it was very sensible of me to get this phone. I guess what they meant by sensible is the fact that I, as someone who obviously makes a lot more money than they do, dare to buy this so 'uncool' phone. The idea of my (supposedly rich) white husband carrying this phone around town must be almost too soothing maybe. It must've made them feel more comfortable w/ what they're using. I'm glad as this seems to be the case.
I don't know if Thai people have always been this shallow and insecure but it saddens me everytime when I see this society look up to expensive gadgets and look down on those who can't afford them. I have nothing against those who can afford the newest things that have just hit the market. But, I have everything against those who say they cringe everytime when they have to take calls in public places with their inexpensive phone. The most common place in this case is the public buses. Can you believe it? Who the fuck do they think they can fool?
And, I have nothing against those Blackberry's or iPhones. I just find them rather unsexy. They look like the floppy ass of your middle-aged next door neighbor. Call my point of view sour grape if you will. Right now, I'm just gonna say "Viva La 27-Dollar NOKIA!'
As I said, my joy didn't stop there. Two of my colleagues - a maid & a driver to be specific - thought it was very sensible of me to get this phone. I guess what they meant by sensible is the fact that I, as someone who obviously makes a lot more money than they do, dare to buy this so 'uncool' phone. The idea of my (supposedly rich) white husband carrying this phone around town must be almost too soothing maybe. It must've made them feel more comfortable w/ what they're using. I'm glad as this seems to be the case.
I don't know if Thai people have always been this shallow and insecure but it saddens me everytime when I see this society look up to expensive gadgets and look down on those who can't afford them. I have nothing against those who can afford the newest things that have just hit the market. But, I have everything against those who say they cringe everytime when they have to take calls in public places with their inexpensive phone. The most common place in this case is the public buses. Can you believe it? Who the fuck do they think they can fool?
And, I have nothing against those Blackberry's or iPhones. I just find them rather unsexy. They look like the floppy ass of your middle-aged next door neighbor. Call my point of view sour grape if you will. Right now, I'm just gonna say "Viva La 27-Dollar NOKIA!'
2009/08/08
SURPRISED
Much to my surprise and, of course, delight, Bangkok ranks No. 3 in this year's Travel & Leisure Magazine's best city list. I was convinced it would fall out of top million after what had happened last December & this April. What is it w/ this metropolis?
What is equally surprising is Chiang Mai is back in top 5 after it was nowhere to be seen in last year's list. Not that this and that poll really matters. Well, it doesn't matter when you don't make the final cut!
If you notice, you will see that I last wrote in Jan 09. I was too depressed and ashamed to bring myself to brag about this city. I thought Bangkok was done, over, finished, kaput...forever. The chaos in April further confirmed my conviction. But now this stupid poll?
Confused Joe
What is equally surprising is Chiang Mai is back in top 5 after it was nowhere to be seen in last year's list. Not that this and that poll really matters. Well, it doesn't matter when you don't make the final cut!
If you notice, you will see that I last wrote in Jan 09. I was too depressed and ashamed to bring myself to brag about this city. I thought Bangkok was done, over, finished, kaput...forever. The chaos in April further confirmed my conviction. But now this stupid poll?
Confused Joe
2009/01/21
Yeah, it's hot but that's way too cool!
Ryan, our photographer guest from Denver, Colorado, has made an interesting comment on the general appearance of Thai people, something I had thought about but never said out loud.
Being from a cold climate as Ryan was, he found Bangkok a sweaty place. This year, we'd had a lot of rain and "winter" was creeping in. Apparently, our Thai 'winter' was a bit inadequate for our poor friend.
He was left wondering why Thai people were so "unadorned" when conditions of the weather could be so unbearable at times. From the way he saw it, Bangkokians could probably take good solace in sunglasses and/or hats. But
we don't. And do you wanna know why?
You could probably assume that cost is a reason. No, it's not the case.
Street vendors of Bangkok supply affordable odds and ends to the entire city. Reasonably-priced sunglasses of 150 Baht (USD 4.4 or Euro 3.3) or cheap, cheap hats of any factory design of 100 Baht (USD 3 or Euro 2.5) are just two items on this endless list.
Or you might try your guess that it's the being-used-to-it factor. Yes, but only to a certain degree. Just like how westerners will never be able to withstand the harshness of the cold weather w/ bare skin, Thai people will always find it intolerable to bear the glaring sun for too long. This is why air-conditioned malls are so popular in this culture. When it's not cool to don a pair of sunglasses or a hat when it is hot, people naturally turn to something else that other people disapprove of not.
Now, let me elaborate.
While Thai society is a free society in many respects (homosexuality for instance,) she is rather strict when it comes to how you should feel about the image you portray to other people. I'm talking about appearance and mannerism here. What this society always champions is the 'not-in-your-face, the quieter the better' attitude. Understatement is explicitly valued over ostentation. So, can a hat and a pair of sunglasses be too much?
Well, let's just put it this way. People here do not say it out loud but if the word is really squeezed out and put on paper so the whole world could read, it will either read Pretentious or Affected. "Where are you from? Your family has such a high standing? Or, you've graduated from abroad? Even so, is there really a need to go around advertising your social status w/ how you look?"
This thought alone of how other people might be viewing you keeps a lot of people away from those cool stands in the market. However, farangs are not subject to this "scrutiny." We Thai people have such an knack in discriminating against our own kind. So, don't worry. Wear a hat if you feel hot. Wear the flashiest pair of sunglasses if uncool you feel not.
Being from a cold climate as Ryan was, he found Bangkok a sweaty place. This year, we'd had a lot of rain and "winter" was creeping in. Apparently, our Thai 'winter' was a bit inadequate for our poor friend.
He was left wondering why Thai people were so "unadorned" when conditions of the weather could be so unbearable at times. From the way he saw it, Bangkokians could probably take good solace in sunglasses and/or hats. But
we don't. And do you wanna know why?
You could probably assume that cost is a reason. No, it's not the case.
Street vendors of Bangkok supply affordable odds and ends to the entire city. Reasonably-priced sunglasses of 150 Baht (USD 4.4 or Euro 3.3) or cheap, cheap hats of any factory design of 100 Baht (USD 3 or Euro 2.5) are just two items on this endless list.
Or you might try your guess that it's the being-used-to-it factor. Yes, but only to a certain degree. Just like how westerners will never be able to withstand the harshness of the cold weather w/ bare skin, Thai people will always find it intolerable to bear the glaring sun for too long. This is why air-conditioned malls are so popular in this culture. When it's not cool to don a pair of sunglasses or a hat when it is hot, people naturally turn to something else that other people disapprove of not.
Now, let me elaborate.
While Thai society is a free society in many respects (homosexuality for instance,) she is rather strict when it comes to how you should feel about the image you portray to other people. I'm talking about appearance and mannerism here. What this society always champions is the 'not-in-your-face, the quieter the better' attitude. Understatement is explicitly valued over ostentation. So, can a hat and a pair of sunglasses be too much?
Well, let's just put it this way. People here do not say it out loud but if the word is really squeezed out and put on paper so the whole world could read, it will either read Pretentious or Affected. "Where are you from? Your family has such a high standing? Or, you've graduated from abroad? Even so, is there really a need to go around advertising your social status w/ how you look?"
This thought alone of how other people might be viewing you keeps a lot of people away from those cool stands in the market. However, farangs are not subject to this "scrutiny." We Thai people have such an knack in discriminating against our own kind. So, don't worry. Wear a hat if you feel hot. Wear the flashiest pair of sunglasses if uncool you feel not.
2008/12/14
Loft Living at Its Best
- 50 sq.meters plus open plan
- vaulted ceilings
- stylish loft style decor
- character sliding wood/glass doors opening onto a large terrace
- terrace is a tropical garden waiting to be enjoyed
- sublime view of BKK's skyline especially at night
- under renovation, scheduled for completion by Dec 20, 08
- introductory rate of THB 1,500 per night
2008/12/07
PATTAYA
Eric was conjuring up dinner in the kitchen of his Pattaya apartment. Me, I was enjoying the gin and tonic he'd just prepared as an aperitif. A fragrant mini pyramid incense was burning dutifully from across the room. A French film could be heard from TV5. Even though the language sounded, as usual, really smart and sophisticated, I couldn't have been more unconcerned with what was happening there.
Even though the thought of the Italian dish and fine wine was exciting, I was still hung up on my splendid session at the Pattaya Gay Beach that past afternoon. You can't know for sure if you and your favorite bikini have caught a lot of eyes there, but it certainly feels good to believe they have. Maybe this is something a thirty-year-old has to cling to for a few more years. Just maybe.
The ambience of Eric's cozy apartment was giving me all the comfort in the world that everything was alright. His political point of view, particularly regarding Thai politics, however, was not.
Fireworks were gracing the starless sky of Pattaya, singing praises for His Majesty the King on his 81st birthday. Despite her colonial outlook and feel, Pattaya remains defiantly Thai and devoted to the Father of the Kingdom. The man-made spectacle was majestic and I was impressed with the celebratory note permeating the cool breeze of this tourist town (well on her way to becoming a city.)
I would have one more day to play the role of a visitor from Bangkok. No matter how impressive Eric's culinary skill may turn out to be, I would have to make sure my stomach remained flat for my final day on Pattaya's decadent beach. Before heading back to work, back to Bangkok, back to reality.
The airport had just been re-opened, but not everybody was relieved. A lot of people seemed convinced it was only a hiatus. More fights and lawlessness, in one form or another, would come when due. These unhappy people could be right, but I am hopeful that they were wrong. I am somewhat disappointed that people can't seem to enjoy the moment without thinking of some awful thing that in the end might not even happen. As for me, I prefer not to borrow any trouble but to deal with it as it comes. If in fact it does.
Eric's description of the Thai conflict was “very typical.” New power busily tightening its grip on society. Old counterpart desperately seeking ways to stop it. We all have seen what the old money was capable of, haven't we? It is interesting to note that the Suvarnabhumi International Airport was built by the government of the emerging regime. I am not gonna tell you which side Eric is on. Yes, he is a foreigner but he does take sides. Anyway, there was always a hint, wasn't there ? - he said that PAD's seizure of the airports was just one small thing.
Naturally, as we hadn't seen each other for a while, I was curious to see more of the mind of this ex boyfriend of mine. So, I sought his opinion on Barrack Obama. American friends, guests, and acquaintances of mine, and of course ex's seemed to be infatuated w/ this guy. My French ex couldn't have looked more bored when answering my simple question. He was simply wondering what would be the slightest difference between Monsieur McCain and Monsieur Obama? America would always have her way over any individual she called the President.
Here they came. The much-anticipated pasta and red wine. Le chef du jour was intent on observing my outward show of appreciation. And I totally did! If only he would put all his points of view aside. Let's just eat and savor the moment.
After everything, I am still hopeful about my country, her politics and all that crap. And I'm not gonna live a life of servitude, a life of being chained to a dubious future that so far exists only in our silly imagination. Once again, I'll deal with that when, and if, it comes.
Oh, I remember now. My bikinis were still soaking in the bathroom sink. I'd better wash and hang them now. Who knows? Looking fabulous on the Pattaya Gay Beach tomorrow might lead me to something that really matters. Don't count me out just yet. One day I might be able to truthfully type such words as my Chinese ex, my Russian ex, my Iraqi ex, my Iranian ex, my North Korean ex, my Cuban ex, etc. Let's see if there will be only America that continues to dominate the planet.
Hopeful Joe
Even though the thought of the Italian dish and fine wine was exciting, I was still hung up on my splendid session at the Pattaya Gay Beach that past afternoon. You can't know for sure if you and your favorite bikini have caught a lot of eyes there, but it certainly feels good to believe they have. Maybe this is something a thirty-year-old has to cling to for a few more years. Just maybe.
The ambience of Eric's cozy apartment was giving me all the comfort in the world that everything was alright. His political point of view, particularly regarding Thai politics, however, was not.
Fireworks were gracing the starless sky of Pattaya, singing praises for His Majesty the King on his 81st birthday. Despite her colonial outlook and feel, Pattaya remains defiantly Thai and devoted to the Father of the Kingdom. The man-made spectacle was majestic and I was impressed with the celebratory note permeating the cool breeze of this tourist town (well on her way to becoming a city.)
I would have one more day to play the role of a visitor from Bangkok. No matter how impressive Eric's culinary skill may turn out to be, I would have to make sure my stomach remained flat for my final day on Pattaya's decadent beach. Before heading back to work, back to Bangkok, back to reality.
The airport had just been re-opened, but not everybody was relieved. A lot of people seemed convinced it was only a hiatus. More fights and lawlessness, in one form or another, would come when due. These unhappy people could be right, but I am hopeful that they were wrong. I am somewhat disappointed that people can't seem to enjoy the moment without thinking of some awful thing that in the end might not even happen. As for me, I prefer not to borrow any trouble but to deal with it as it comes. If in fact it does.
Eric's description of the Thai conflict was “very typical.” New power busily tightening its grip on society. Old counterpart desperately seeking ways to stop it. We all have seen what the old money was capable of, haven't we? It is interesting to note that the Suvarnabhumi International Airport was built by the government of the emerging regime. I am not gonna tell you which side Eric is on. Yes, he is a foreigner but he does take sides. Anyway, there was always a hint, wasn't there ? - he said that PAD's seizure of the airports was just one small thing.
Naturally, as we hadn't seen each other for a while, I was curious to see more of the mind of this ex boyfriend of mine. So, I sought his opinion on Barrack Obama. American friends, guests, and acquaintances of mine, and of course ex's seemed to be infatuated w/ this guy. My French ex couldn't have looked more bored when answering my simple question. He was simply wondering what would be the slightest difference between Monsieur McCain and Monsieur Obama? America would always have her way over any individual she called the President.
Here they came. The much-anticipated pasta and red wine. Le chef du jour was intent on observing my outward show of appreciation. And I totally did! If only he would put all his points of view aside. Let's just eat and savor the moment.
After everything, I am still hopeful about my country, her politics and all that crap. And I'm not gonna live a life of servitude, a life of being chained to a dubious future that so far exists only in our silly imagination. Once again, I'll deal with that when, and if, it comes.
Oh, I remember now. My bikinis were still soaking in the bathroom sink. I'd better wash and hang them now. Who knows? Looking fabulous on the Pattaya Gay Beach tomorrow might lead me to something that really matters. Don't count me out just yet. One day I might be able to truthfully type such words as my Chinese ex, my Russian ex, my Iraqi ex, my Iranian ex, my North Korean ex, my Cuban ex, etc. Let's see if there will be only America that continues to dominate the planet.
Hopeful Joe
2008/11/26
FAITH
I guess you all must have known by now that Bangkok’s international airport is under siege by an anti-government protest group. People’s Alliance for? Democracy or PAD vows not to leave unless the democratically-elected government packs their suitcase.
This is the new peak of our political deadlock that has been going on for a while. Seizure of the Government House since late August doesn’t seem to be working. So, the most important airport of the country has become the natural next target.
You might be wondering why our authorities have allowed this to happen. Well, Thailand is one complicated country baby. I hope that one day I will be able to give all the details without worrying about anything.
Anyway, I’ve been hurt long enough. Hurt from seeing my beloved motherland being betrayed. Hurt from witnessing her being raped while I am unable to do anything to rescue her.
But now, I’m not gonna hurt any more. I’ve come to a realization that my being hurt for her equates into a hideous insult to her. I mean, that all along I regarded her as a victim when she’s fucking NOT.
She is a beautiful, kind-hearted and forgiving mother who, however, won’t take shit from any ungrateful child for too long. She’s INDEPENDENT. Nofuckingbody owns her. It’s been proven in history, time and time again. Whoever (let me repeat…Whoever) thinks that they can do anything and try to claim her will be more than sorry. Mark my word! Soon enough, they will see, feel, and witness their ass, whether it be big, flat, sagging, or stretch-marked, kiiiiicked big time. Mark my word.
Faithful Joe
This is the new peak of our political deadlock that has been going on for a while. Seizure of the Government House since late August doesn’t seem to be working. So, the most important airport of the country has become the natural next target.
You might be wondering why our authorities have allowed this to happen. Well, Thailand is one complicated country baby. I hope that one day I will be able to give all the details without worrying about anything.
Anyway, I’ve been hurt long enough. Hurt from seeing my beloved motherland being betrayed. Hurt from witnessing her being raped while I am unable to do anything to rescue her.
But now, I’m not gonna hurt any more. I’ve come to a realization that my being hurt for her equates into a hideous insult to her. I mean, that all along I regarded her as a victim when she’s fucking NOT.
She is a beautiful, kind-hearted and forgiving mother who, however, won’t take shit from any ungrateful child for too long. She’s INDEPENDENT. Nofuckingbody owns her. It’s been proven in history, time and time again. Whoever (let me repeat…Whoever) thinks that they can do anything and try to claim her will be more than sorry. Mark my word! Soon enough, they will see, feel, and witness their ass, whether it be big, flat, sagging, or stretch-marked, kiiiiicked big time. Mark my word.
Faithful Joe
2008/11/11
Loy Krathong Festival
Tomorrow night (Nov 12) will be a night to remember. Thousands of people across Bangkok (and millions throughout Thailand) will be out and about for a spiritual yet romantic little outing. We will all chip in to decorate our rivers, canals, ponds, swamps, pools etc w/ a gorgeous thing.
“Loy” means to float. “Krathong” refers to a small raft holding a lit candle, burnt incense and of course ornate flowers which could be lotus, banana leaves, orchids, jasmine, roses, or daffodils. Anything goes.
On this night in early November, everybody knows it’s time to be humble in a flamboyant style. The moon is full. The tide is high. The rainy season is bidding goodbye. The cool period of the year is saying Hi. Let’s apologize.
But to whom?
To the Goddess of Water, for any wrong doing that has been done to her during the past year, whether it be - taking water for granted, taking fish and other water animals away from Her, …….or peeing into Her, oops.
To be eligible for Her forgiveness, one needs to send a beautiful gift on this full moon night.
Unlike folks in small villages where a temple pond is the only place to go, people of Bangkok will have many choices to choose from. Wisit and friends might be planning to launch their Krathong’s on the Chao Phraya River. Warunee has probably set her eye on a canal close to her house. Surasak should just go to a pond in the Lumpini Park ‘cause it’s a minute from his work. Munlika will stick w/ the swimming pool of her condominium as every other year.
But take note: lovers must never float their Krathong’s at the front pond of my school, Chulalongkorn University. We believe it has a breakup curse. But, if that’s your goal, hail a cab!
Besides the apology, everybody is free to make a wish for whatever they feel they deserve, and let me tell you, for some people, it is strictly worldly. More money, another promotion, men wishing for bigger boobs on their next girlfriend, chicks secretly asking her man’s hairline to stop receding. Me? Let me think.
A monthly hot fling!
You would probably be right if you have already started to feel sorry for the Goddess of Water.
Back to the raft, Thailand has almost come full circle. A few years back, styrofoam was ubiquitous. Nowadays, whatever is being used, it must be natural. So most people use banana trunk as in the picture below.
The three cut slices belong to one of my colleagues. She’s not gonna buy but make them all herself. One is for her. Another is for her boyfriend. The other will be for another man her boyfriend doesn’t need to know.
Trust me it’s gonna be a hectic night for Peggy.
Joe
P.S. Special thank to www.thaiworldview.com
2008/11/07
TIGHT
A week after the end of Oct and a lot of people seem to have recovered from the reckless spending spree that revitalized and jeopardized Bangkok.
Myself included.
Having spent all of our extra cash from our monthly pay, we will now have to stay lean every single day. Well, until November ends. Until then, we’ve got to describe this period as TIGHT.
But, this doesn’t mean we will be totally denied any fun which, in many cases, is totally free when it comes to Bangkok. Look at our police officers.
That’s right. You didn’t misread anything.
When my mother first moved to Bangkok last year, she didn’t quite know her way around. So, it was more often than not that she ended up violating this and that traffic rule. You know, you can’t make a u-turn here, turn left there and the police will chase and place a ticket upon you. Those types of things.
But, she always ended up escaping any form of punishment by the officers. What they would give her is a sighhh saying “Auntie, don’t do this again. It is not as simple as your home town.” And, she was let go. Auntie? I’ll explain this cultural stuff in a future post.
True, such leniency towards the elders makes our guys in khaki uniform cool in some people’s eyes. But what will really arrest your eyes cannot be anything but the really tight outfits that accentuates the shape and form of the officers themselves.
It is something that I grew up w/ and, hence, have taken for granted. But, as foreign guest after foreign guest commented in unison about how TIGHT it is, I began to notice.
From what I understand, the tight uniform is supposed to keep our boys shape-conscious. Good appearance is definitely part of the whole package of this section of civil servants. That will inspire admiration and cooperation from the general public and of course, intimidate the crooked.
Whatever. None of these dudes inspire or intimidate me. But many of them sort of excite me. Look at the same guy from behind.
Well, officer, tell me how I can direct your official attention my way. What offence should I commit so you could pronounce me a trouble maker? Just tell me so you would have a valid reason to handcuff me!
Curious Joe
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