Don't worry. Be happy!

I think that the phrase that best defines Thailand to me is ‘mai pen rai’. It’s the first few words in Thai that I learned when visiting the Land of Smiles 15 years ago. It translates roughly as ‘don’t worry’, ‘it’s not important’, ‘don’t mention it’. The truth be told, this attitude bothers me at times.

I believe there are times when people should be held accountable for their bad conduct. Mai pen rai just doesn’t cut it when a person’s action has a major negative effective on a person or a community. And yet, Thai people will go to lengths to explain to me the law of Karma. I know that Karma will eventually catch all of us, there is no escaping this most powerful law of the universe. And as much as I wholeheartedly accept that, there are times I want to short circuit Karma and have the culprit pay now, in this lifetime, not the next. Now! Dammit.

And there are times when the beauty of ‘mai pen rai’ soars high in the heavens. Today was one of those days. I was confronted with a situation in which a friend of mine, a foreigner, made a big deal out of something very minor. As this person went on and on, ranting about stuff that they won’t remember in a couple of weeks, I was overwhelmed by the absolute beauty of the concept of ‘mai pen rai’. But this person obviously didn’t get it and wasn’t about to get it anytime soon. I have had somewhat of a checkered past (I’m a changed person now, I swear) and if I had understood this powerful concept back then I could have saved myself a lot of grief. But perhaps that’s how Karma works, forcing us to go through the same experience time and time again until we actually get it. I am still working on this. Nirvana is a long way off for me. But Thailand has changed me. Although I don’t lay claim to being Buddhist, living in a Buddhist society has also changed me. Contemplating a visit to Thailand? It could change your life, if you are open to it. It did mine so many years ago, and continues to do so today.

At Bangkoksong we won’t promise to change you. The only change we we can do is sheets and towels. We defer the rest to Karma.

Guest post by Randall

State of Emergency - What does it mean?

You probably have heard about it already. Bangkok is currently under siege of international press coverage.

It is sad that one person died and about fifty others got injured. It is even sadder that people who look just the same fought against one another. But it is the saddest that if you take any of them out for an interview, you might come to a conclusion that they don’t even know what democracy is.

Well, I’ve heard stories that both sides are paid.

If those stories turn out to be false, we might be able to take solace that this is part of growing. Democratic countries around the world have struggled before.

If those stories were true, let’s hope that the big guys behind the string know what emergency really means. At least in Bangkok’s case.

What emergency means is this - involved people need to realize faster than ray of light that we have too much to lose here. We can’t let this go on and on. Thailand really can’t afford that.

You know what you could do to help?

Do come to Bangkok as planned (if any.) Your presence will be a good reminder of all the good things that peace can generate.

If you’re concerned, look at the photo that I took, and you will see that Bangkok is like the ornate round table whereas the affected area is the glass of gin. Some people are just being drunk.

It is almost nothing in a grand scale. Come! We’ll treat you right.

Joe

Staying & Studying Thai? - Part II: Have never said No!

It's true we never say no even when we mean it.

I remember years ago when I started learning English in the primary school the funny trouble in answering a certain kind of question. Something like "So, you're not coming?" or "Don't you like mango?"

In Thai, to confirm to the above question that you're not coming or that you're not fond of the fruit, you say "Chai" which literally means yes.

In English, you say No to confirm, right?

So, if you study Thai and want to hit things right, say Yes to mean yes and also Yes to mean no. Make sure you don't confuse yourself. That's all.

So, what's the implication of all this?

Well, we Thais are nice and kind. We don't break people's heart, esp. at night when the heart is rather "fragile.' We say yes to everything.

Or, if you'd rather phrase it as "convenient," you're probably spot on!

Will be back for more on this wonderfully weird language. Off to a night out 'cause Bangkok is impatiently waiting for me!

Hopefully there will be someone out there to whom I can say yes all the way.

Joe

How Foreigners Are Contributing to the Way Thais Interact

If you have been to Thailand, you might already have seen the way Thais greet, thank, aplogize and say good bye. Joining the palms in the middle of your chest and nodding or slightly bowing. It seems as simple as that, doesn't it?

Yes, it does but it's not.

What westerners might deem insignificant or even ridiculous but is one of the wheels that keep Thai society functional is hierachy and seniority. And, this applies to just about everybody - someone in your family, people at work, folks in your circle, and of course complete strangers. Really.

When you meet someone who you're certain is older than you, you greet them by joining your palms at chest level and slightly bowing. The person you greet will return your graciousness by joining their palms also at chest level but only w/ nodding. As a younger person, you have to greet them first.

When you meet someone who is apparently younger, you automatically expect them to be gracious young people, and you're obligated to be a respectable older person. If the kid fails to do what he's required to do, you have all the right in the world to go around saying he has no manner or his parents did a terrible job. Nobody will contest. But then, as the older one, if you fail to acknowledge and return the graciousness that the younger person initiated, you yourself will also be viewed badly, or worse.

Still, that's just the basic.

The dynamic changes and age doesn't quite matter when superiority in terms of social standing, profession, or work position comes into play.

For us, it is so okay (and actually a very decent thing) to feel inferior to others because what others have is apparently better or they are of a higher rank than us.

Here, doctors and teachers get graciousness from people all the time, regardless of either person's age. A mother will fully bow to a doctor of her son's age if her son's life has just been saved by that doctor. A man will willingly bow to his daughter's teacher who is 15 years his junior just because that is what you do to a teacher.

But by wanting to be polite or fit into Thai society, tourists and expats are slowly and unknowingly adding something to this dynamic. We will discuss this in Part II of this post.

Joe

Coming for Sex?

Once, I heard somebody say that quite a number of people in the west believed that every woman in Thailand was a prostitute.

Well, they, I'd say, missed one point - they should have believed that everybody, men or women, is a prostitute. You know, here, go-go boys are huge as well. When you go on the extreme, why stop half way?

Here's what John Burdett, the author of Bangkok 8, says in his Author's Note "......The sex industry in Thailand is smaller per capita than in Taiwan, the Philippines or the United States...." I take this as a well-researched fact.

To those coming from the 3 countries mentioned, sorry guys, I didn't invent the statistics.

But, for those who still believe that every woman in Thailand sleeps w/ strangers for a living, I'd say "Right on folks, fact or fiction is all up to you. Whatever floats your boat."

What I'd like to suggest in case you're pondering a sex tour in Thailand is this - Sex is a coordination. Sex, although you can buy it, can never be bought. Sex is a two-way street.

If you think that with the money you have you can buy sex anywhere in Thailand whether it be Bangkok, Pattaya, Chaingmai, Phuket, wherever, you're incredibly naive, because what you will get is not sex but another day-job performance of the 'red-collar workers." Trust me! It's such a waaaaste of time.

Here are some tips for sex to be worth your 'investment ' ;-

if you're bald, get your head shaven because that's a whole lot sexier,

if you're old, take a viagra because that goes a long way,

if you're fat, act kind and pleasant because that's easier to get started,

if your breath is bad, avoid kissing at any cost,

if your body odor is prominent, refrain from meat and cheese for a while,

if you're not well-endowned, peruse Kama Sutra or practise yoga,

etc.

If you fall into one of the above categories and still can't bother w/ the code, kindly be advised to stay at home and 'flirt' w/ yourself.

But, if you are willing to practise the preached and be w/ someone else, I'd say "Welcome to Thailand."


Joe, Would-Be Sex Guru

Thai Mentality – Strolling Nation

Dinner w/ Jeffrey and David delighted me in many ways. Free food and smooth wine! And, what else?

While Jeffrey is about to finish decorating his condo in Bangkok, David has been living here for 2 years. The two Americans, from Irvine, Califfonia, and Houston, Texas respectively, are in love w/ the city and plan to make it their permanent home.

They raved about their new home in many ways, but there's one thing so far that drives them nuts. The pace of Bangkok!

People are often in their way and neither of them are able to bring themselves to say "it's ok." Imagine Jeffrey racing against time furniture shopping for his place or David rushing to meet his bf knowing he is already half an hour late.

Two of the issues they mentioned are people not forming a single line when using an escalator or blocking the already crowded sidewalks by standing and talking on their cellphone, always, it seems, in the most inopportune spot!

Explanation: (but don't take it as the whole reason why Thailand is, and likely will remain, a strolling nation. I believe what I'm going to say is only part of the picture, but a very noteworthy one.)

Once upon the time, Thailand was an agricultural nation. The majority of people worked their rice paddies with a water buffalo.

Right now,Thailand has changed a lot but the mindset of the people remains from before.

We don't walk fast, not because we're not in a hurry or because we don't want to finish things and get over w/ them. But somewhere in our consciousness we are told to take it slowly, and in the eye of many westerners, it becomes strolling instead of walking. But we do walk, I contest.

However there is one matter we are programed to consider, and it's called 'manners." If you walk as fast as some westerners might want you to, people will ask you this question w/ their piercing eyes.

"Have you lost your buffalo? Why are you walking like that?"

Although the vast majority of Thai people, especially in Bangkok, have never owned a water buffalo, none of us would ever want to exhibit behavior that would cause others to wonder if we have, indeed, lost our buffalo.

P.S. Scroll down a bit to read "Thai Mentality - Introduction"