How Foreigners Are Contributing to the Way Thais Interact: (continued from the post dated Aug 28, 08)

Before you read this post, pls devour the one on Aug 28, 08 for background

.................Despite the good intentions on the foreigners' part, we Thai people used to be a little embarrassed w/ how non Thais would join palms whenever, wherever, and to whomever.

I mentioned in my first post that we consider age and social standing before lifting the hands. We are not used to older people humbly thanking us or somebody w/ better credentials graciously sending an apology our way.

Generally, young people will be a little offended if an older one initiates the graciousness. They will not be pleased because it could mean they look older than they are. Or, it could mean they will die first because they are now “older.” Weird, hay?

Also, when you regard yourself as inferior or less experienced to somebody, you would never expect their humility to come your way.

However, foreigners have not been conforming at all.

I've seen daddy-type white men demurely greet someone who's young enough to be his grandson. Then, women of my mother's age submissively thank me for the direction. Again, there will always be my expat tenants who apologize to their maid, having forgotten to leave the salary on time. Can you imagine how awkward the maids would feel?

Who knows? This could mean you guys are (albeit unknowingly) bringing agelessness and equality to a society where everyone is supposed to be someone or no one when compared to someone else.

Yes, we were embarrassed or uncomfortable at first. Now, we are getting used to it as this is what expats and tourists do.

Now that we've sort of been conditioned to it, we start to like it and it would feel awkward if foreigners stopped doing it.

It’s not that we enjoy being regarded as older or superior or anything at all. Just appreciate when people from another culture respect what we hold dearly. No matter how mistaken a person can be, it is entirely a good gesture after all.

So keep up the good work.

Appreciative Joe

Thai Mentality: You’re in my way. Move!

I sort of defend Thai-style easy-goingness on my post dated Aug 23, 08, but for this one, forget it.

In my humblest opinion, easy-goingness is actually the way to go for many matters. A dear friend broke your vintage vase by mistake. Your hot blind date stood you up. An old man next door thunderously clears his throat a few times every day. Thousands of matters don’t really matter actually.

But not each and every! For example, some people seem to be far too laid back/care-free to the point of becoming inconsiderate.

When in Bangkok, you will surely be out and about on her rail-based transportation. Going to Suanlum Night Bazaar? Take the underground MRT and get off at the Lumpini Station. Viewing cozy condos on Langsuan Street? Use the elevated BTS and leave at Chidlom. Seems a like a piece of cake, doesn’t it?

Totally.

Still, some people – some Thai people, if they need naming – can give you a hard time.

“Please let passengers exit first.” This is what you will hear. It’s in crystal clear English, American-accented, along w/ the articulate Thai version that comes before. So, there’s no excuse for some local people to ignore this civilized request.

Besides, every station provides all the signs that you need so that you know where to stand when a train door opens to allow other passengers to exit first.

One of these days, I will write the nicest letter to the operating companies suggesting that the BTS guards could do more than whistling, and the MRT platform personnel more than just standing by in case a passenger faints??

It would be nice if the staff was also responsible for politely asking stray people to give way. Until that happens, you and I might need to remind them not to be in other people’s way. Not that we’re in a big rush or trying to locate our lost buffalo or anything. It’s just a matter of principle, right?

I don’t endorse confrontation here or anywhere else and I’m sure it’s not your intention either. Just smile and suggest w/ a friendly motion that they should move aside. Be careful not to touch or push anyone, an action that comes across as very unfriendly. While violence begets violence, I maintain that friendliness encourages cooperation. Let’s do that.

Let’s also celebrate the laid-back, care-free character in Thai people in general but not on this one.

Joe

Another Tough Time

The city of Bangkok seemed normal today. Tourists were everywhere. The subway and skytrain that I took were packed. The malls were busy. Bangkok "dolls" still had her boyfriend or her lady in waiting follow them around the town w/ a digital camera. I went around doing my banking as I had done any other Saturday (in Thailand, many banks have their branches in the malls and are open 7 days a week, very convenient.)

That's a part of the city oblivious to something that matters more. Another part of Bangkok sings a totally different tune.

Right now as we speak, there is a huge ongoing protest against the government, at the Government House. The disgruntled people call themselves PAD (People's Alliance for Democracy). But, they have been barking against the democratically-elected government.

Last night the police fired tear gas to disperse the crowd, only to see more of them. Labor unions shut train services across the country, in addition to 3 airports in the south. Madness!!!!

By tomorrow evening, we will know if Prime Minister Samak will stay or not. He is reported to be meeting w/ His Majesty the King right now. Whatever His Majesty graciously advises, the premier will have to oblige.

Personally, I am not particularly fond of the chili cart being upset. The government has been in office for less than a year and the economy keeps growing while we have seen the nearly impossible; the unemployment rate sank from last year 1.5 to currently 1.4.

Still, PAD can't stand the fact that the government is linked to the ousted former prime minister. Heard of Thaksin Shinawatra? He's now in England, reportedly trying to seek a political asylum there. PAD want the government out. Some people just don't know when to stop.

But my husband is in favor of the unruly citizens. He compares and contrasts it to the lack of actions by one nation that should have spoken in a grand manner against her leader for stealing the election twice and hurling the country into a nasty, trapped war. Sounds familiar?

Randy went on w/ his reasons to validate the chaos and convince me that it is all ok. I just want my fabulous, peaceful Bangkok (the whole of her) back as soon as possible.

Looks like "as soon as possible" is really naive on my part. But I will uphold my naivety by hoping that the government will not use any more tear gas or any force but allow the freedom of (mad) speech to blossom until the backing resources are depleted.

We'll see who's gonna last - police who work in shifts or the fools who strand themselves in front of the house of government. You know, Thai people in general are very fickle and get bored very easily. The way I see it, it's a game of wait and see on both sides, a strategy of trying to wear your opponent out. Well it's working, at least on me - I'm worn out on this whole issue already!

Starry-eyed Joe

Staying & Studying Thai? - Part II: Have never said No!

It's true we never say no even when we mean it.

I remember years ago when I started learning English in the primary school the funny trouble in answering a certain kind of question. Something like "So, you're not coming?" or "Don't you like mango?"

In Thai, to confirm to the above question that you're not coming or that you're not fond of the fruit, you say "Chai" which literally means yes.

In English, you say No to confirm, right?

So, if you study Thai and want to hit things right, say Yes to mean yes and also Yes to mean no. Make sure you don't confuse yourself. That's all.

So, what's the implication of all this?

Well, we Thais are nice and kind. We don't break people's heart, esp. at night when the heart is rather "fragile.' We say yes to everything.

Or, if you'd rather phrase it as "convenient," you're probably spot on!

Will be back for more on this wonderfully weird language. Off to a night out 'cause Bangkok is impatiently waiting for me!

Hopefully there will be someone out there to whom I can say yes all the way.

Joe

How Foreigners Are Contributing to the Way Thais Interact

If you have been to Thailand, you might already have seen the way Thais greet, thank, aplogize and say good bye. Joining the palms in the middle of your chest and nodding or slightly bowing. It seems as simple as that, doesn't it?

Yes, it does but it's not.

What westerners might deem insignificant or even ridiculous but is one of the wheels that keep Thai society functional is hierachy and seniority. And, this applies to just about everybody - someone in your family, people at work, folks in your circle, and of course complete strangers. Really.

When you meet someone who you're certain is older than you, you greet them by joining your palms at chest level and slightly bowing. The person you greet will return your graciousness by joining their palms also at chest level but only w/ nodding. As a younger person, you have to greet them first.

When you meet someone who is apparently younger, you automatically expect them to be gracious young people, and you're obligated to be a respectable older person. If the kid fails to do what he's required to do, you have all the right in the world to go around saying he has no manner or his parents did a terrible job. Nobody will contest. But then, as the older one, if you fail to acknowledge and return the graciousness that the younger person initiated, you yourself will also be viewed badly, or worse.

Still, that's just the basic.

The dynamic changes and age doesn't quite matter when superiority in terms of social standing, profession, or work position comes into play.

For us, it is so okay (and actually a very decent thing) to feel inferior to others because what others have is apparently better or they are of a higher rank than us.

Here, doctors and teachers get graciousness from people all the time, regardless of either person's age. A mother will fully bow to a doctor of her son's age if her son's life has just been saved by that doctor. A man will willingly bow to his daughter's teacher who is 15 years his junior just because that is what you do to a teacher.

But by wanting to be polite or fit into Thai society, tourists and expats are slowly and unknowingly adding something to this dynamic. We will discuss this in Part II of this post.

Joe